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Guilt Curriculum

by Luke Brennan

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1.
I feel like a dick in this business shirt In this business suit, I go to work I catch the bus / I catch the train I can’t complain I feel like a dick in this business chair This security tag that I have to wear Another hour / another day What can I say? I feel like a dick with this businessman With whom after work I catch the tram He tells me his performance is GREAT I have to wait So patiently just to disembark An hour from home and the sky is dark Some kinda sunset but I ain’t done yet I just pause Oh what I do just for a few bob I hate my job
2.
Monselice 01:37
Close the boomgates at Monselice The fast train’s coming through! And lock the doors to the station platform too! Keep your engines running But keep your car abreast! Can’t you hear another one comin’ from the west? Some folks going Venice-bound Some folks are going to Rome I can never tell who’s leaving from who is coming home So strike the hammer on the old brass bell And flash the bright red lights I’ll be sleeping in this sleepy town tonight
3.
Sing about being free Sing about being lonely Sing for all the times when I had these songs only I think about kissing you When I’m overtired and sluggish I think about easy mornings with no checkout time or lugguage I love you ‘cause you’re true I love you ‘cause you’re worth it I love you ‘cause you give to me a sense of purpose So why would I wanna be anywhere but a place where I belong? I can choose amusement when I must fill the absense of a higher truth… But all roads lead to you Another cheap hotel I believe I’m seeing double I got lost, my path was blocked by ancient rubble How are things back home? How’s that summer weather? Questions that I ask you when we’re not together Ain’t gonna go to the City of Love It’d only make me jealous I’m just counting down the hours as the belltower bellows Why would I wanna be anywhere but a place where I belong? My heart and soul are shaking as I scribble down this song and hum the Miss You Blues And all roads lead to you
4.
Waiting for the money to drop Waiting ‘til I can afford A needle and a thread for my raggy rags And a broom for the dirty floor Oh I’m a hard-workin’ feller but I just won’t wait I gotta put bread and butter on my empty plate Waiting for the money to drop Walkin’ around like a ghost I owe a whole lotta people but I guess it depends Who really needs it the most Oh it’s a backlogged book of expensive luxury That makes me happy but it don’t mean that much to me Lady at the counter says I’m into the red! “Well honey I don’t care because I gotta be fed” The man around the corner says he’s feelin’ blue! “Well that’s the only thing I got in common with you” We are waiting for the money to drop Pickin’ up coins off the ground Seventeen cents to my shameful name Is all I can say that I’ve found Tell ya, one day a little fortune come my way I’m gonna break and run, gonna drive for days Waiting for the money to drop…
5.
New Love 03:30
New love, everybody wants a new love No matter how much love they got New love! Why are you lookin’ for a new love? You already got a true love, like it or not She met my eyes, saw straight to my heart And that’s the way my new love did start She spoke my name like no-one before Her hand outstretched, how could I ignore? I tried to speak, I let out a gasp Beheld the girl, and thought of the last And that’s the way my new love did end As all of them tend ‘Cause when she walks through that door I feel my heart hit the floor O lord! I’ve been here before New love, everybody wants a new love No matter how much love they already got New love! Why are you lookin’ for a new love? You already got a true love, like it or not I’ve seen that gal with many a guy I clearly see the look in her eye She holds his hand but gestures to me Then walks on by, continues to seek Another home, a new place to fall But that ain’t a home of windows and walls It’s just a veil, and I see straight through You can see through too The way she walks through that door You hear her heart hit the flood O lord! She’s been here before New love, everybody wants a new love No matter how much love they already got New love! Why are you lookin’ for a new love? You already got a true love, like it or not You already got a true love, like it or not
6.
I wasn’t looking for a place to drink In fact, I was looking for a corner to sit n think in I wasn’t looking for a hand to hold All this time we’ve been growing, growing out of the mould Which I think is why we don’t speak of the strange, strange past I wasn’t looking for your sympathy Not that you’ve come to expect that from me anyway… The thing I’ve come in search of is hard to describe I’ve been bored out of my brains, bored out of my brains A prevention will do, it will have to do Bored out of my brains, bored out of my brains Baby put your blue jeans on, put your blue jeans on And we’ll go walk around the block Talk it off… I wasn’t looking for an easy way out Nor for a place to lose my mind on love and twist n shout Wind up counting coins in the back of a taxi cab Now you come looking for my company And baby well I’m not sure what that’s meant to mean to me after all this time I ain’t scared to be there for you, but to fall back in love
7.
I am a down-to-Earth guy Up to the sky, I look for a sign I’m always lost in the stars Searching for clouds when I’m out too far I’ll uncover the scars when I wake (Brush my teeth for your sake) Commence a different life Don’t want to be a down-to-Earth guy I watch industrial towns Burn to the ground, and send the rain down These drops will never fall straight But what do I care if it is too late? Everybody standin’ around “See that sight?” / “What’s that sound?” Sky falls down to the Earth Just as they say, “Things could be worse” Lots of trouble for little reward Can’t help that you can’t help but look bored Indeed a time will come for me too But I believe there’s good I can do I’m sweatin’ blood! Everyone rise! Board up your windows and look to the sky! I think I might’ve fallen from grace Save me some room, clear me some space
8.
You were gonna call around my place tonight Maybe for some dinner or a film But it was clear that you’d wind up in my bed Implicit but it was never said About a half an hour ago you changed your mind “Baby, maybe someday when the weather is fine” You said, “it’s warm inside and I got the coldest feet And I get so fuckin’ nervous when I’m under the sheets ‘Cause meaningless sex ain’t good for me That’s not what my mama raised me to be” Well it’s a shame that I mean nothing to you And that you’re meaningless to me We were in the mountains in your mother’s car Situated underneath the brightest star Full moon was out and I could hear the dogs Bitchin’ in the valley through the settling fog All a-sudden you turn the ignition on Sixty seconds flat and we had been and gone You said, “full moon, baby, you know what that means” I said, “save your superstitions while I burst at the seams” ‘Cause meaningless sex ain’t good for you That’s not what your mama taught you to do Well it’s a shame that I mean nothing to you And that you’re meaningless to me
9.
Here comes the bride with a bucket of chicken Can you feel something kickin’? Spilling cigarette ash over the sofa cushion Can you feel it pushin’? One day in the future we’ll be exactly Where we are today Here comes the bride, think of something profound to say! Here comes the bride, quit acting the cynic In the maternity clinic Give her a break, did you not hear her confessing Lately she’s been stressing She’s made up her bed, but she don’t sleep at night It don’t feel like a fairytale Here comes the bride, did she forget to remove the veil? Here comes the bride, with imaginary voices Criticising her choices She’d shoo them away but they’re just so relentless And she’s just so defenseless Candles burn when the power’s out And she curses from her room Here comes the bride, has anyone seen the groom?! Here comes the bride, she don’t feel like an actress On the floor on a mattress And moppin’ up vomit off the kitchen tiles Is only fun for a while In similar fashion, the passion will fade When whim gives way to woe Here comes the bride, and there she goes!
10.
In an open well I found my love And we cursed ourselves Because we were too young And down the dark backstreets You held my hand And I would drop you home And feel so sad We made the suburbs sparkle We made the suburbs shine When I was yours And you were mine And we would take the train To unfamiliar towns If you don’t get lost You won’t get found And I would shake with fear On the last train home ‘Cause dad wouldn’t pick up The telephone Well we had no concept Of place or time When I was yours And you were mine You were all I needed In two straight lines When I was yours And you were mine
11.
I had to go to the doctor again To get another stitch in my left eyebrow I thought the pain would be in the fall That doesn’t matter anyhow I had to wait in the waiting room Where all the coughs and slings and sighs Under the sober clinic lights Live a life of waiting in line Well I was wheeled across the hall Two sliding doors opened and then I had to limp the rest of the way But the nurse didn’t mention when I had to go to the doctor again I had to go to the doctor again Guess I got beat up pretty bad They healed my arms, my face, my legs But they couldn’t erase the scabs Of a life growing up in a cotton bud Playin’ touch footy in a Catholic school The patron saints of risk and fear Always debating over the rules I tried to keep the straightest face But the stitches had it bent He said a lot of scary things But he didn’t mention when I had to go to the doctor again I had to go to the doctor again All the stress too much to take Who ever thought that a life of silence Could ever be so prone to break? I tried so hard to bite my tongue I had to call up a friend of mine He said that he would come around But only ‘cause I had a cast to sign I felt my fever risin’ high I had to reach to catch my breath You’ll never drag me from this chair Lest in the case of life or death When there are still two options left
12.
Don’t lay a hand on that woman Don’t touch a hair on her head Consider this as a warning Listen to what I said Stop calling her up on the weeknights Stop dropping by at her home Go find yourself a good woman of your own I know that she’s a good-looker And she can be quite a stir And I know you’re lookin’ for a sweetheart But you ain’t gonna get it in her You got yourself a bad habit As far as your past would show Go find yourself a good woman of your own Stop following us to the cinema Why won’t you leave us alone? Go find yourself a good woman of your own

about

GUILT CURRICULUM -- A GROVE RECORDING GRV002

Alas, alas, my first album: Guilt Curriculum. I recorded it last year; the rhythm in February, the harmony in April and the melody in August. The songs were recorded back-to-back in four-song blocks, so the album kinda plays out like a live show of LB & the LB Clones... Ok.. It's my "back-to-basics" album.

There are some real old songs on this album: track 4 and 8 from way back in 2009 in Dublin. The first one's from 2010 when I was trying to earn $6k in two months to pay my debt get back to Dublin. Tracks 2, 3 and 5 are more recent, written travelling around Italy shortly before returning to the shed in Melbourne and starting this project. The themes on the album mostly relate to escaping institutionalised adolescence believing in the power and solemnity of the Individual (and associated adventures home and away).

I hope you enjoy it! And back up your files -- now!

Mastered by Yeo, art work by David Pesavento.

Luke Brennan, January 10 2014

credits

released January 17, 2014

Written and recorded by Luke Brennan. Mastered by Yeo Choong. Art by David Pesavento. A Grove Recording.

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Luke Brennan Melbourne, Australia

New album "Take Wing" out now - impressions of disappearance and clarity, reflections on loneliness and comfort.

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